I hesitate to again post on baseball, as my view of the game seems skewed towards the sensibilities of people who can recognize the source of the quote which entitles this post.  But much of the snow in my yard has melted, players are playing games in the South, the Red Sox have again augmented their roster with people we do not know (worked last year, ya know!), the Evil Empire has taken yet another Sox Center Fielder and to put a point on it also spent a gazillion dollars to land yet another Japanese pitching ace, and newspapers are telling us to watch out for the Orioles, the As, KC, just about anyone (except for the Mets; no one is worried about the Mets).

The Sox are dependent on a whole bunch of people who are unproven here.  Now last year we had a roster of new people unproven here but many were proven elsewhere.  This time around, we have a center fielder who hasn’t played in a couple of years (while on Sabbatical having a half-dozen operations, no less), another center fielder who went zero-for-two million at bats in the post-season for Boston, a catcher rumored to be toxic (just when our last catcher was learning how to play well), another catcher who is now being trained to play first base (after spending 6 years teaching him to catch, during which time he forgot how to hit), a short-stop who is supposed to be a superstar even though he can’t turn the double play as well as the old man we threw out (maybe not a bad idea, though, since Drew still doesn’t have a job; good move, Boros), a totally inconsistent third baseman (was never a fan of Middlemarch), and the ever-inscrutible aged tyro Daniel Nava (if he is as good as his numbers, why was he platooned?).

We do have pitching, including some new guys.  Maybe enough, but pitching is supposed to go hand in glove with defense particularly up the middle, and we ain’t got that defense no more up the middle.  And it is time to give up on Workman, so we can trade him to some other club where he will win 15 games just to show us a thing or two.

Even now, no doubt, the Fenway crew is repainting my seats and installing cushions and one more cup holder so the number of cup holders matches the number of seats in the row.  Perhaps they will put flooring on the metal mesh booth directly over my head so that when the occupants spill their beer it does not drip into my beer cup; I hate mixing brewskies, don’t you?  I do want my increased price of $5 per game ticket (a mere $405 annual increase per seat, who am I to complain, we won didn’t we?) to be reflected in better service, in order to balance the worser team….

Baseball quiz: in what month do the Sox play the most home games?  Answer: last year it was April– cold rainy New England April.  Good news this year though: only 15 games in April at Fenway.  More that in the summer months it is true, but still, an improvement.  What foresight, to load those games into April and not play them in Atlanta, in California, in Texas, in Florida….  Who wants to have the team play in warm summer weather here in Boston when we can be given the chance to prove that baseball fans are just as ardent and dedicated as the Patriot Posse? 

Yeah yeah yeah, I am looking forward to the season.  My father ruined me the first time he walked me up the ramp at Ebbetts Field to see our new second baseman, and (like a grade B movie, I know) burned the first glimpse of intense green into the back of my skull.  Sitting on my knees to see over the hats of the men, ducking their cigar smoke, trying to see the game, going to the park and cutting school (eat your heart out, PS 189), I was hooked.  It has only been about a 64 year addiction since I first went to my first Big League game, so I hope to grow out of it soon.  It would be good to grow out of it.  I always feel the fool when I think about the Sox ownership getting fat on my nickel.

I would even write this post and send it for publication in the Boston Globe but, wouldn’t you know it, John Henry bought the newspaper also.  I think he did it to keep my sedition from public view.